New Year's Wishes

I've been thinking now for several days about what I wanted say to close out 2007 and bring in 2008. And I've come back to a few things I wanted to share with you...which is kind of funny because they're things that you have shared with me.

The first I owe directly to a friend of mine from church--he sent this quote from spiritual activist and founder of The Peace Alliance Marianne Williamson. But the sentiment is something that I have gathered from the past several months of reading all of your stories over the past 10 months or so.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?"
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us: it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others.


Thank you all for sharing your light. Reading your stories has given me the encouragement and the permission to shine just a little brighter myself. And for that, I am ever so grateful.

The second comes from another Marianne: and that is "Happy Knitting to all, and continue making good times." It's taken me months of reading your blog, but the week before Christmas it finally hit me--that's what it's all about, isn't it? If we're not making good times, there's something seriously wrong with our planning. So, even if your plans didn't include that impromptu cup of coffee with that old friend, or the night out with the girls...a trip to a yarn store 90 minutes away to take part in the 1,000 knitters project or something else with the potential of making a damned fine memory...if your plans don't include those things, they sure should.

So, if you don't knit, insert your activity or hobby of choice in place, but whatever you choose I wish you all the happiest of New Years, and continue making good times.

On the sixth day of Christmas...

...I finally got around to posting! We had a nice holiday chez Saisquoi. Busy, but nice.

I did go to the 1,000 knitters shoot. I'm knitter 279. Franklin was wonderful--if you knit and have the opportunity to take part in this project, I highly recommend it. I'm very excited to see what it becomes--and I feel honored to have taken part. Purl Diva, by the way, is a freaking awesome yarn shop. I'm not sure how often I'll drive out to Brunswick just to go yarn shopping, but it may make a good pick-me-up on days when I'm just not sure how I can go on.

After the knitting and yarn shop fun (I'm holding fast to the yarn diet--but I did buy this book while I was there. I think I'll make one of everything.) I went to wrap gifts with my college roommate. We ate pizza and wrapped gifts and watched White Christmas and It's a Wonderful Life. And it was something I really needed to do. I think it may have been a Christmas gift to myself.

Christmas Eve was hideously busy, as always. But as the Christmas Eve service was moved up by an hour, I was at least home at a reasonable hour.

Christmas Eve means lots of church for me--I sing and I do a "Christmas Narrative" in place of the gospel reading. Basically, I wear my storyteller hat and tell the Christmas Story while the kids bring down the pieces to set the Nativity scene. It's lovely, except that the Nativity set the priest likes to use is a gorgeous Italian porcelain one. And every year I watch with fear and trepidation as some of my naughtier children bring the pieces down the aisle--I tell you, it was a Christmas Miracle we didn't lose any this year.

Christmas Eve also means a visit from my in-laws. All of them. Now, I love The Beloved's family. They are crazy--but in a good way. However, they have never quite grasped that I cannot relax until Christmas Eve church is put to bed. My narrative is done from memory, so prior to church I walk around the house reciting it. Usually, the in-laws come over around 4:00 or so and I have to be to church no later than 6:00 to start a carol-sing at 6:30 and mass at 7:00. This year I thought it would work out perfectly--they would come about the time I was leaving and we could all eat dinner together when I got home after church.

Instead, they came at 2:00 when i was still very much trying to get dressed and practice. Sigh. I felt like The Grinch.

Things were fine when I got home. Well, except that most of the food was gone and my sister-in-law was down for the count. But we woke her up to open presents.

I drive my husband nuts because he wants to open presents on Christmas Eve when his folks are around. I like to wait until Christmas morning. So I don't put any of his stuff out until Christmas morning. I'm only a little passive-aggressive. Really.

However, I did relinquish a little this year and open one of his gifts to me on Christmas Eve. It was a sexy nightgown.

The Beloved also came through with a yarn swift. Bless his little soul. I'll try for some pictures later this week--winter light in NH does not make for good photographs. It's time to do something about that....

Christmas Day also brought dinner with my family at my Aunt's house. Good times and lots of food to be had by all.

And Boxing Day saw me back at work. Ah, the joys of a relatively new job--zero vacation time. I'll be going in tomorrow as well, but have New Year's Day off.

And that's about it. We've eaten a lot. Probably too much. But it's been good. After the new year we'll be on bread and water and celery for a while, but I suppose it's all about balance.

I hope that all of are having wonderful holiday seasons filled with time well spent with your families and friends. Continue your celebrations as long as you can--well, at least through Twelfth Night!

It's Beginning to Look a Bit Like Christmas

Thank you for your kind thoughts and comments. I apologize for my little pity party--stress levels got a little out of hand chez Saisquoi.

Things are better. We got a tree. It's not a regular tree--apparently, it's really hard to find one for sale the week before Christmas. Who knew? The Rotary people were never around, so their charities did not get my money this year. We went to the Home Depot and we could have gotten a frozen, crusty tree for $50, but that just seemed a bit steep. Particularly since the trees were, you know, frozen, so we couldn't tell if they were full or spindly or anything else. So we went to BJs and spent $17.99 on this:

This is a Norfolk Island Pine. Or something. It's not ideal. The Beloved calls it our Truffula Tree. I guess it looks a bit Seussean. But it's a tree. With lights. And the Christmas Angel.

Isn't she pretty? It took me many years to find "the" angel. In fact, she only came into my life last year, and I like her so much that she stays out long after the tree has gone--she lives on the hutch when she isn't on the tree.

Anyhow. Since the tree is live, if I can keep it alive through the winter we could theoretically plant it in the spring. But I'm not very good with plants, so I'm not keeping my hopes up.

Other holiday things...tomorrow is the staff holiday party at work. I'm bringing a tomato tart. (Libby's recipe, you can find it here.) I know it isn't tomato season, but it's the best idea I could come up with. Right now the pastry is baking away and I'll put it together tomorrow morning before I leave.

Saturday Franklin is going to be doing his 1000 knitters thing up in Brunswick. Weather permitting, I think I'm going to go. I've got about a zillion things I should be doing, but, honestly, I'm feeling a bit selfish and so I plan to act on it. Neener neener neener. When I get home, I plan on meeting up with my college roommate for our annual gift wrapping and viewing of "It's a Wonderful Life" party. That counts as stuff I should be doing, right?

The Two Bears and a Wintry Mix of Whatnot

bears2.JPG

Teddy Bears
Pattern: Knitted Cuddlies available from Knitting Daily
Yarn: Patons Classic Wool Merino in the "Natural Mix" colorway
Purchased from: My local AC Moore
Needles: Knitpicks US size 7/4.5 mm (4 DPNs)

If you think these look familiar, you're right. This is the same pattern used to make Luigi (scroll down, I promise he's there). The pattern was quick, easy, and just the ticket for a handmade addition to Giving Tree gifts for Boy Baby and Girl Baby. I finished them on Saturday as Sunday was supposed to be the dropoff day at church. However, we had what is referred to as a big-ass Noreaster that day and church was canceled. Have you ever heard of anything so crazy? So I spent the rest of the day sitting on the couch and snuggling with Polly and knitting on the Alpaca Silk Shrug. Well, not really, but I wish that's how I spent my day.

Actually, I spent a good portion of the day trying to shovel out so that I could go to work this morning. The Beloved is on vacation and has come down with the obligatory cold. So he was of little help. Then the snowblower died. Then my neighbor's snow blower died. I seriously considered drinking the rest of the open bottle of sherry and then lying down naked in the back yard to see how long it would take me to die of exposure.

Fortunately my neighbor was able to fix his snowblower and he was able to remove the mountain of snow left by the plow. But then I had to shovel out another two times--after the sidewalk plow came through and again after the street plow came by again and knocked a wall of snow into my driveway. What is the appropriate gift for your snowblowing angel of a neighbor anyway? My husband, speaking in what I can only imagine was a fever accompanying his cold, asked our neighbor if he liked meat. (I said--find out if Mr. and Mrs. Neighbor are allergic to nuts--if no, we can send over some of the cookies I plan to bake this week. He asks "Do you like meat?" Sigh.) Apparently, my Beloved Spouse was thinking we could pick up a gift certificate to The Meat House for their Christmas Roast. The question just didn't come out sounding very...suave. My neighbor is probably convinced that we're completely deranged.

This morning I woke to find that everything was coated with ice. This makes it hard for the car to go. It was too much--I went inside and proceeded to have a meltdown at my husband. Who looks at me and says, "I thought you were good under pressure." Wonder of wonders, he is still alive. It must be a Christmas miracle.

Apparently it will take another Christmas miracle for us to get a tree. So, Christmas Eve is one week from today. Naturally, the Rotary Christmas Tree sale was not going on tonight. The Beloved, being good and patient and pragmatic, said "We'll try again tomorrow and we'll go earlier--before dinner." Saisquoi, being tired and bitter and resentful, said "I don't know why I expected to be able to buy a freakin' tree the week before Christmas anyway." I must be a South Pole elf.

Anyhow. I'm drinking egg nogg, trying very hard to feel Christmasy, what with all the snow and all, but I'm just tired and cranky. I'm afraid I'm coming down with my sweetie's cold (isn't sharing great?) and still have to get ready to host my in-laws on Christmas Eve, when, actually, I'll be at church trying somehow to pull together a children's story with participation for the service. (The prep work with the kids should have gotten done yesterday. But no church, so...) You know, I like the idea of Christmas. I like the stories. I like the singing. I like the time spent with family. All of this other stuff? Not so much. I'm not having fun right now, and I'm not quite sure how to make it be fun and not so painfully stressful.

So, instead, I'll have another egg nogg and work on my shrug and snuggle my cat and my husband. And if any of you have any ideas or any thoughts on alleviating pre-Christmas malaise, feel free to pass them along.

I'll try to post something cheerier tomorrow. Maybe if we manage to find a freakin' tree...

Getting ready

So, today is the first Sunday of Advent. Unfortunately, the boiler at church decided to stop functioning in honor of the first Sunday of the liturgical year, so *my* morning did not go as planned. In Sunday School we would have talked about how the church gives us Advent as a way of getting ready for the mystery of Christmas--but it was too cold. We'll talk about that next Sunday.

But even without my kids to talk to, the fact remains that the first Sunday of Advent has arrived, which means it's time to get ready. We get so busy at this time of year that by the time Christmas rolls around, we've missed the mystery. We're not ready.

So, how do we get ready? I was thinking about this last night. With the kids, "getting ready" in the classroom involves sitting on the floor, being still, and focusing on the story. It means being open to wondering. It's a little bit different for grownups. Sometimes, getting ready can mean being still and focusing on the story, but I don't know that this particular method works for all of us all of the time...or even if it's enough. Maybe we need to look out as well as in when we get ready. Maybe we need to spend a Saturday at our local soup kitchen. Or at the animal shelter. Or with friends and family members who struggle at this time of year.

One of my favorite ways of getting ready is putting together gifts for the giving tree. Every year, our church gets a list of people--Adult Female, Teenage Boy, Girl 6-9, Baby Boy--and we put tags on the tree so we can go shop for people who may be struggling at this time. I started doing this on a whim maybe four years ago, about the time I picked up knitting again. My thought was that I could knit a hat (I was knitting lots of hats at the time) and put together a bag of goodies for a child and "help someone less fortunate." So I took my tag (I think it was for "Infant Girl" that year), went out and bought the fluffiest pink yarn I could find, and knit a rather cute (though very simple) hat. Then I knit matching booties. Then I went out and picked up onesies and socks and a book and some sort of baby toy. I think it took four weeks to put that gift together. And I probably spent more time shopping and thinking about Infant Girl than I did in putting together gifts for my family and friends.

But, you know what? That year, when Christmas rolled around, I was ready. More ready, anyway, then I recall being in previous years. I think that may have been the Christmas The Beloved and I opted out of getting a tree, and so nothing felt particularly Christmasy--until we were opening gifts and I wondered if Infant Girl and her family liked the hat/booties/book/whatever and hoped above all hope that they were having a nice holiday and that they were warm and safe and happy. And it struck me that maybe it was more appropriate to wonder about Infant Girl and her well-being than it was to lament my lack of a tree--and that maybe Infant Girl was a part of the mystery of Christmas in a way that my own stocking was not.

Anyway. Today I picked up two tags--there didn't seem to be many folks coming up to choose names this year, which doesn't seem fair to the people who are represented there. But, I've brought home Baby Boy and Baby Girl. And now, I can start to think about what to put together for them--what they may need and what they might like. It's actually a lot more difficult this year than it's been in the past--you see, The Beloved and I have been hoping to add our own Baby Boy or Baby Girl to the mix and it's turning out to be a bit more challenging than we originally thought it would be. But that doesn't mean that the Baby Boy and Baby Girl represented by the little tags in my pocketbook don't need something. And it doesn't even mean that I don't need to be the one to do it this year. Maybe this year it's more important than ever that I put my own worries and doubts and disappointments aside so that Baby Boy and Baby Girl have something special--just for them--on Christmas morning, and so that I can be ready--ready for the mystery, ready for the light, ready for the magic that comes with the mystery of Christmas.

So, when I said that no one gets handknits for Christmas this year, I guess I lied. There will be something handmade for Baby Boy and Baby Girl. I'm not quite sure what they will be, but I hope they will be loved and enjoyed come Christmas morning. And, if my own shrug doesn't get done, well, I'm sure Christmas will still come to our house just as it did the year we didn't have a tree.

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