Thursday, August 27, 2009

Sweet Pea for my Sweet Pea

Don't look now, but there might be some knitting on this here blog...

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Yes! Look! Knitting! I finished something! Great God Almighty!

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This is the Scrappy Socky Stripey Cardi from f.pea, using Yarn Pirate merino sock yarn in the (wait for it) Sweet Pea colorway. (Note: I have an overabundance of sock yarn, if such a thing is possible, and am forever looking for patterns that can use variegated stuff. For some bizarre reason, I currently like baby and toddler sized items. Feel free to leave me suggestions.)

I made a couple of modifications--the most noticeable being the absence of stripes other than those caused by the variegated yarn. The reason for this mod? I was lazy and didn't feel like searching out a matching contrast. The yarn was busy enough. If I knit it again in a bigger size, I'll add the stripes for visual/knitting interest and also because I used almost an entire skein of sock yarn for this sweater and so will need to add more next time around.

Also, The Tadpole has chunky arms. Too chunky for the pattern as written. So, I added some extra stitches and decided against using the decreases. The sleeves are a bit long, but I actually like them wide.

I loved that this sweater had NO SEAMING. The only sewing I did was to put the buttons on. I'm not crazy about the button loops, but I haven't decided what I'd like to do to make them better. Something to think about in all my spare time, I suppose.

Overall, a cute sweater. The way the yarn pooled? I couldn't have planned it any better. i love it. However, I should have made the sweater one size bigger than I did because The Tadpole will have outgrown it by, like, tomorrow. She's not very long, but she's a solid baby. So, while there's plenty of length in the sweater for her, she's already stretching those button loops. Oh well. Live and learn.

Now I have to decide what comes next on the knitting agenda. I have yarn for soakers, and she needs soakers since she's outgrown all of her diaper covers. And she may be ready to wear wool now as (knock wood) I think she's down to pooping only two times a day instead of, like, seven.

But, gasp, I also have a hankering to knit myself a sweater. Seriously--I bought the yarn and the pattern well over a year ago. I meant to knit it while I was pregnant because it would have worked over my bump. But it would still be a very useful sweater for nursing. And I could wear it if I ever decided to do this grow-a-baby-thing again.

So, what do you think? More cute stuff for my cute kid, or something for the Mama?

Sunday, August 9, 2009

On Mommyhood

Still no finished knitting to show you. If anyone is still there. Bueller...Bueller? Yeah. Anyway.

I've struggled over the past several weeks on whether I should shut down the blog entirely or just let it change focus in some sort of mostly natural way. I mean...my life has changed pretty dramatically in the past six months; it's only fitting that my focus would change as well. But does the world need another Mommy blog? Probably as much as it needs the Bebe Gloton, but that's another matter for another day.

Then the question becomes, if the world doesn't need another Mommy blog, do I need to blog? And, while need is a very strong word here, I've come to the conclusion that I miss having some sort of outlet. It's funny--I write all day at work, but don't get to say anything. And I come home to my baby and my husband, both of whom I adore, but both of whom look at me cross-eyed whenever I try to say what's on my mind. Granted, by the end of the day most of my thoughts are a garbled mess of near insanity, but still.

So, I guess, expect less knitting and more ramblings to come. Suffice to say that my deep thoughts currently involve breastfeeding, babywearing, and cloth diapering. The Tadpole and I still go to church, I'm still greatly bothered by the inability of large portions of the human race to GET ALONG and such, but stringing a series of words into a coherent thought has become a Herculean task on most days.

Would I change it, though? No way. I love being a Mom. Like, crazy-love in a way I didn't think was possible. The Tadpole is a rockin' baby and in spite of the mega-sleep deprivation and complete loss of knitting/reading/yoga/self time, I'm having a blast. The only change I wish I could make would be to spend more time with her. My job + commute keeps me away from her 10 hours a day, which is miserable. If I won the lottery this week, I would seriously quit my job, pull the baby from daycare, and buy a Suburu Outback so that I could properly revel in my Mommy-glory. Well, I'd quit my job and pull the baby from daycare, at any rate.

Mommyhood hasn't necessarily been easy, but it hasn't been as hard for me as it is for some. I haven't had PPD and except for the first two weeks of "getting used to things," breastfeeding hasn't been difficult. Pumping sucks (ha-ha--yes, I deserve to be put down for that), but nursing is...good. I have a cheerful and mostly-healthy baby (I suspect we have some allergies in the works, but there's very little I can do about that right now except try to keep my house clean). Life, overall, is very, very good.

Particularly when bananas are involved.

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Thursday, July 23, 2009

6 months


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Originally uploaded by saisquoi
On Tuesday, we celebrated 6 months with the Tadpole. I can hardly believe it...the time has gone by so fast.

More to follow in the next couple of days, I hope. I want to review some of the baby stuff that's been particularly useful, plus I've had a rather unpleasant customer service experience I'm dying to bitch about.

Also, I have 3/4 of a baby sweater. If I hurry, she'll get to wear it before it gets too small.

Must run--she pages. If I'm gone too long, I fear I'll turn around and find a teenager.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Still here :)

Really. I am. Well, mostly.

I'm actually finding it easier to Twitter with The Tadpole. Finding the time to sit down and compose a thought--much less translate that into a blog post--is proving much more difficult than I thought. Actually, lots of things are much more difficult than I thought they would be, but I wouldn't change it for anything.

The Tadpole is now just over 5 months old. A wee little froggie, she is... only maybe not so wee and little anymore! At her 4 month checkup she had more than doubled her birthweight. As I type, she's sitting up in the borrowed Bumbo chair and playing with her bunny, Roadkill. Yesterday, I think I felt the bumps of first teeth on her bottom gums.

She can roll over and babble and has her Daddy and me wrapped around her chubby little fingers.

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I've been back at work full-time since she was 12 weeks old. A space opened up at our preferred daycare facility the week before I was scheduled to go back, which everyone but me thought was a blessing. I've had very mixed feelings about being back. On the one hand, I occasionally appreciate the break--The Tadpole can be very intense. On the other hand, I'm gone for way too many hours a day. I feel like I'm missing too much. The Beloved and I are not confident enough in the economy or the job market to feel comfortable with my quitting, but with the rising cost of gas and tolls and the price of full-time daycare, we're also wondering how much sense it makes for me to continue working in order to pay for daycare... Ah, the proverbial rock and hard place.

Last weekend we took her to her first ball game. We went to see the Seadogs play. She watched the game intently--The Beloved said she needed to text her bookie (must be the Italian). My sweet girl...

I took pictures but seem to have lost the freaking wire as my house has been overtaken with crap. So, until I find it, my camera is effectively useless. Ah, technology is great. I dream of someone coming along and setting my house on fire so I could just freaking start over.

I've been knitting when I find the time. Which isn't often. Between work and the busy baby, I'm lucky if I can arrange for us to have clean underwear. But The Tadpole still sleeps in our room and has decided that she doesn't like to sleep alone. So, often, I'll get a little knitting done in the short bit of time between her going to sleep and my going to sleep. I've been working on a little cardigan for the Tadpole, but found that the sleeve knit to pattern is too tight for my little porkchop. I'll be ripping that out and redoing--hopefully it won't take too long and she'll be able to wear the little sweater at least once.

Friday, March 27, 2009

America's Next Top Model?

I took the Tadpole to Sears today to have portraits made. She is, after all, nine weeks old and quite a lady. Hey--pictures don't lie:

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We have smiling pictures, too:

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I think I may have the cutest baby in the world...but I admit a definite bias here.

We've been busy. Every week we go to a new parent group on Mondays and we "play" with some other little girls (2 and under) from church on Fridays. We have other little adventures to the library or the mall or downtown during the week. I'm amazed at how much fun I'm having and am a bit sad that maternity leave comes to an end in two weeks.

Theoretically.

The Tadpole has a spot beginning July 6 at the daycare center at my church. This, of course, does not help me going back to work in two weeks.

My employer has not yet confirmed whether I will be able to come back on a part-time basis until July. Which now means that I cannot give two weeks notice if part-time is no longer an acceptable option.

I'm very torn. I never intended to quit my job when I got pregnant. But I've really enjoyed being home with my little girl and watching her grow. I don't want to miss things like her rolling over for the first time, her learning to sit up on her own, her first steps, because I'm sitting in a cubicle abstracting. So, if I have to quit, I'm OK with it, but I wish it felt less like having to choose between what will work for my family and my employment--particularly in these precarious economic times.

Que sera sera, I guess.

In other news, I've been knitting on occasion, but have nothing to show for it. I started knitting a little jumper (the dress kind, not the sweater kind) for the Tadpole. At this rate, she can use it if she ever has a daughter. I'm thinking if she starts napping again (HA), I might be able to finish it and she may even get to wear it once before she grows out of it.

The next thing I make for her will be at least two sizes larger than her current size.

She's cool, though. And I even bought her a hat because I knew I wouldn't have time to finish an appropriate one before Easter:

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Monday, March 9, 2009

What a surprise...

It's snowing again.

Sigh.

It's very insulting after the weekend we had. It was sunny and warm. I took Tadpole out in her sling for a walk around town and she charmed everyone she met. Well, everyone who saw her. She mostly slept. And yesterday, she got to wear a dress without a pair of pants underneath--shocking!

But not today.

No Mommy Group today. It was very nice--we got a phone call saying it was cancelled. Which, I suppose, is a good thing--no need for Tadpole and I to head out in the nasty-yuck if there's no place to be. But I was kind of looking forward to the company. And getting the baby weighed. And the trip out.

Oh well.

We'll go out tomorrow morning--I have to get my sugars checked to make sure the diabetes is all gone. We're hoping it's gone. I mean, the baby and I have been baking up a storm (ha-ha) the past couple of weeks. So far, we've limited ourselves to brownies, cake from a mix, and chocolate chip cookies. But, as I really haven't baked anything in several years, we thought it wise to start small.

Tonight we're having cake. And chicken casserole. Hmmm. Dinner is without color this evening...it's all kind of yellow and brown. I suppose if I add mixed vegetables there will be color, right? (Note: If anyone wants the chicken casserole recipe, I can post it. It's very simple. But not very exotic. In fact, it's rather dull. But The Beloved likes it, and it's easy, so remains in the repertoire.)

The Tadpole wants to know what gives with this Daylight Saving Time nonsense. She was very cranky yesterday and today. And cranky baby leads to cranky Mommy. The two of us had a nice nap together yesterday, but that doesn't seem to be in the cards for this afternoon. Although, I found when I strapped her into her Mei Tai, she conked right out. Apparently, Tadpole may nap today but Mommy may not.

Sigh.

I'd be irritated, but it's hard to be irritated at someone so darned cute. Just check out the hat:

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Monday, March 2, 2009

Welcome to the Winter of My Discontent

More snow today. Wahoo! The weather report reported between 10 and 15 inches and we got that--easy.

So, what exactly do snow days mean when you're on maternity leave? Well, for one, they mean you don't leave the house. This is a rare treat when you're working 40+ hours per week, but when you are always in the house, it becomes a rare form of torture. No Mommy Group today, and no outings for the Tadpole and her rather ill-tempered Mother. Also, Daddy "worked from home" today, which meant he was in the house refusing to do things like watch the Tadpole so Mommy could take a shower, shovel the walkway, or move laundry around.

I'm trying to make the best of it. And, in fact, we had an OK day in spite of the house arrest. Because the weather is so miserable, I figured it was the perfect day for fish chowder which is simmering as I type. Cooking fish chowder with a baby who constantly wants to be held is a unique challenge. I suppose it would be less challenging if I was capable of letting the baby cry, but I'm not. So, prep involved much running back and forth: "Hold on, Sweetie--Mommy's here. She just needs to wash the salt pork/fish/onion off her hands." Hopefully, dinner will be worth it.

I use my mother's recipe, which is from the World War II era edition of the Hood Cookbook. It's very simple and, depending on the price of fish, is not an expensive dinner (it was really cheap for us since the fish was given to us by my parents following a deep-sea fishing adventure undertaken by my dad). Here it is (including my substitutions):

You'll need
1/4 cup salt pork, diced
1 onion, sliced
2 cups diced potatoes
2 to 2 1/2 pounds white-fleshed fish (I used cod)
2 cups boiling water
1 pint milk (I used half-and-half)
salt
cayenne (I used ground black pepper)

You'll do
Heat the diced salt pork in a large, heavy saucepan over low heat until the fat is extracted. Remove crisp pork if desired. Cook the sliced onion in the fat until slightly yellow. While the pork is heating, boil the fish in the water for 10 minutes or until the flesh can be separated from the bones (or until the fish is opaque/cooked if you're working with fish that has been deboned). Cool slightly; remove bones and skin (again, you can skip this step if your fish has been skinned and deboned); save the stock to flavor the chowder. Separate the fish into flakes or dice. Add the potatoes, fish, and fish stock to the fat and onions. Cover and cook gently until the potatoes are tender (10-15 minutes). Add the milk and seasonings; reheat to boiling. Serve chowder with pilot or Boston crackers (I skip the crackers, myself).

It's not a heart-healthy meal, though my mother has made it moderately better by cooking the onions in vegetable oil and using 2% milk. It's OK, but my thought is that comfort food best serves its purpose in its high-fat form. That's what makes it comforting. I don't make fish chowder every day--in fact, I can't remember the last time I made it (when I was pregnant, I'd go out to Newicks for the fish chowder fix as theirs is pretty close to mine and there's no cleanup involved). So, I feel no guilt about cooking with salt pork and half-and-half.

I also plan to make a batch of cookies because my sainted neighbor (hallowed be his name) snowblowed our walkway and driveway, leaving us only our cars and steps to unearth. I cannot properly express my gratitude for this supreme kindness, so chocolate chip cookie bars will have to suffice. I will have to try and hide them from my beloved spouse, who may have served as a model for the Cookie Monster.

All in all, not a horrendous day--even if stuck inside. The good part about the snow day was that it allowed me one more day free of day care worries. I'm scheduled to return to work on April 13 and am having a hard time finding infant care for the Tadpole. Now, if I had not done anything at this point (I return in 6 weeks), I would have only myself to blame. And perhaps I really only have myself to blame for this anyway, but seriously? The baby has been waitlisted since September at my preferred place. It looks like they won't have an opening until June or July. I was in contact with another place who reported having availability when I initially contacted them (in 2008), but when I went for my tour last week, they have a waitlist of 10 (they have space for 24 infants) that they neglected to tell me about via e-mail or over the phone, and they charge $100 to even go on the wait list (Tadpole will not be going there--there are other things about the institution that did not impress me, but I'm not paying $100 when I'm not working for a school that's more of a last resort, anyway).

The Beloved has been very supportive in his own way. Basically, if I have to stay home because we can't find child care, we will be OK. And if I have to quit my job because they won't hold it while I find child care, that's what will have to happen (we're hoping we don't have to go that route). His latest idea is that his mother can come and live with us until the Tadpole can get a spot somewhere, but that plan really doesn't thrill me. I love my mother-in-law, but I have a tiny house and I have a feeling that having another adult living here will send me over the edge.

Fortunately, the Tadpole knows nothing of our grownup worries. She's just doing her thing, and doing it to the best of her ability. And she's being exceptionally cute while she does it:

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