On Mommyhood

9:44 AM

Still no finished knitting to show you. If anyone is still there. Bueller...Bueller? Yeah. Anyway.

I've struggled over the past several weeks on whether I should shut down the blog entirely or just let it change focus in some sort of mostly natural way. I mean...my life has changed pretty dramatically in the past six months; it's only fitting that my focus would change as well. But does the world need another Mommy blog? Probably as much as it needs the Bebe Gloton, but that's another matter for another day.

Then the question becomes, if the world doesn't need another Mommy blog, do I need to blog? And, while need is a very strong word here, I've come to the conclusion that I miss having some sort of outlet. It's funny--I write all day at work, but don't get to say anything. And I come home to my baby and my husband, both of whom I adore, but both of whom look at me cross-eyed whenever I try to say what's on my mind. Granted, by the end of the day most of my thoughts are a garbled mess of near insanity, but still.

So, I guess, expect less knitting and more ramblings to come. Suffice to say that my deep thoughts currently involve breastfeeding, babywearing, and cloth diapering. The Tadpole and I still go to church, I'm still greatly bothered by the inability of large portions of the human race to GET ALONG and such, but stringing a series of words into a coherent thought has become a Herculean task on most days.

Would I change it, though? No way. I love being a Mom. Like, crazy-love in a way I didn't think was possible. The Tadpole is a rockin' baby and in spite of the mega-sleep deprivation and complete loss of knitting/reading/yoga/self time, I'm having a blast. The only change I wish I could make would be to spend more time with her. My job + commute keeps me away from her 10 hours a day, which is miserable. If I won the lottery this week, I would seriously quit my job, pull the baby from daycare, and buy a Suburu Outback so that I could properly revel in my Mommy-glory. Well, I'd quit my job and pull the baby from daycare, at any rate.

Mommyhood hasn't necessarily been easy, but it hasn't been as hard for me as it is for some. I haven't had PPD and except for the first two weeks of "getting used to things," breastfeeding hasn't been difficult. Pumping sucks (ha-ha--yes, I deserve to be put down for that), but nursing is...good. I have a cheerful and mostly-healthy baby (I suspect we have some allergies in the works, but there's very little I can do about that right now except try to keep my house clean). Life, overall, is very, very good.

Particularly when bananas are involved.

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