You wouldn't think it would be this difficult....

4:16 PM

In December, I finished work on my MLIS. It was a long and arduous process spanning several years and three states. There were times I didn't think I would finish, didn't care if I finished, didn't necessarily want to finish. But, with The Beloved's support and quite a few threats, the journey came to an end.

Well, mostly. Today I got an invitation in the mail for the Graduate Commencement Ceremony at the University of Rhode Island. I hadn't planned on attending. It's two-and-a-half hours away. I did much of my coursework through distance courses online or in Massachusetts and New Hampshire. I don't have much connection with the campus--in fact, I can only find a select few buildings on campus.

But...

Part of me really wants to don the cap and gown and hood (Lemon for the MLIS). To march. To shake some complete stranger's hand and receive an empty diploma cover. (The Diploma is at home. It came in the mail several weeks ago.) I love ceremony. I love the goofy things we do to mark milestones. And while desperately wish I didn't want to go to URI in three weeks, I'm starting to get a little twinge. It's almost like pre-guilt or pre-regret. If you don't do this.... what? What will happen if I don't go? Logistically, I have no idea how it will work out. What happens if the bookstore is all out of regalia by the time I get there at the last possible second? (I really don't see how I'm going to get there earlier to buy my stuff.) What happens if we get stuck in horrible traffic and I miss it anyway? What if, what if, what if?

This shouldn't be a hard decision. Yet....I don't know. Should I stay or should I go? The Beloved is no help. He doesn't want to go, but feels this should be my decision. Naturally, I'm paralyzed and finding myself incapable of making one. I will vacillate until it's too late and the decision is made for me. Or, maybe I'll find a spine or conviction or something to push me into action.

In the meantime, I'll knit some more socks. Finished the Magic 28 mate yesterday--aren't they cute? They're the same size and everything!

Polly helped. I think she's happy with them as well. Next time, maybe I'll be brave and try stripes or a pattern stitch!

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