5:31 PM


I've started in on a sweater for my beloved spouse. This is about 12 inches of the Cobblestone Sweater from the Fall 2007 issue of Interweave Knits. It makes for excellent TV knitting.

I wish I could tell you I've been doing really productive things in my month of silence, but no. I've been watching a lot of TV. Netflix on demand, mostly, but TV nonetheless. I've also been playing Rock Band. We're planning on making family members play on Easter Sunday to determine who gets to sit at the dining room table and who gets shunted off to the satellite locations. I hope they've all been practising their cowbell.

I also started these, which I may or may not finish:


Cute, eh? They're just a bit too small for the babies I know. And since it appears I'm never going to have one of my own, looking at the wee sockie just makes me miserable. I did start a second sock, but I just don't have it in me right now to work on it. Maybe in a couple of weeks. I seem to do this in fits and starts.

I also started a bunny intended for Backwoods, but that's been lingering in the unfinished pile for a while, too. It seems to elicit a similar emotional response to the wee socks, and so I just haven't been able to bring myself to complete it. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to bring myself to rip it out, either, so it sits there unfinished and mocks me in the dead of night.

I should probably elaborate a little: I haven't written because I've been...well...miserable lately. And it's generally better if I don't inflict myself on others when I hit this sort of mood. In brief, anything I would have written over the past several weeks would have earned me a well-deserved vacation at my local psychiatric ward. And, while I could probably use the rest, I don't think they'd let me take my knitting, and that just wouldn't do at all.

The Beloved and I have been trying to start a family for over a year. Well, we've been trying in earnest for over a year--I took my last birth control pill about four years ago for what that's worth. Our family still consists of four cats. If I am honest with myself, I realise that this is not likely to change--until the number of cats shrinks due to attrition. And this is basically intolerable to me. My husband, being a man, does not see what the problem is.

Maybe that's unfair. He keeps telling me he wants me to be happy; maybe it's only a problem to me and I need to "chill out and not worry so much." I don't know. What I do know is that I'm very tired. And exceptionally cranky. And very bitter. I don't particularly enjoy myself right now which basically means I've retreated into a dark, dank little den of self-pity. Which really doesn't help matters at all, but since I'm fresh out of ideas....

Anyhow. There's more light in the evening. It's getting warm enough to walk again. I'm sure the dark, nasty mood will come and go until I come to terms with what is and figure out how to go on from here.

Until then, there's Rock Band and the sweater. I should start the arm by the end of the week. I'll keep y'all posted.

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