What a surprise...

cooking
It's snowing again.

Sigh.

It's very insulting after the weekend we had. It was sunny and warm. I took Tadpole out in her sling for a walk around town and she charmed everyone she met. Well, everyone who saw her. She mostly slept. And yesterday, she got to wear a dress without a pair of pants underneath--shocking!

But not today.

No Mommy Group today. It was very nice--we got a phone call saying it was cancelled. Which, I suppose, is a good thing--no need for Tadpole and I to head out in the nasty-yuck if there's no place to be. But I was kind of looking forward to the company. And getting the baby weighed. And the trip out.

Oh well.

We'll go out tomorrow morning--I have to get my sugars checked to make sure the diabetes is all gone. We're hoping it's gone. I mean, the baby and I have been baking up a storm (ha-ha) the past couple of weeks. So far, we've limited ourselves to brownies, cake from a mix, and chocolate chip cookies. But, as I really haven't baked anything in several years, we thought it wise to start small.

Tonight we're having cake. And chicken casserole. Hmmm. Dinner is without color this evening...it's all kind of yellow and brown. I suppose if I add mixed vegetables there will be color, right? (Note: If anyone wants the chicken casserole recipe, I can post it. It's very simple. But not very exotic. In fact, it's rather dull. But The Beloved likes it, and it's easy, so remains in the repertoire.)

The Tadpole wants to know what gives with this Daylight Saving Time nonsense. She was very cranky yesterday and today. And cranky baby leads to cranky Mommy. The two of us had a nice nap together yesterday, but that doesn't seem to be in the cards for this afternoon. Although, I found when I strapped her into her Mei Tai, she conked right out. Apparently, Tadpole may nap today but Mommy may not.

Sigh.

I'd be irritated, but it's hard to be irritated at someone so darned cute. Just check out the hat:

DSCF0307

Still no baby...

baby things
So, my due date has come and gone. While I know that it's pretty normal for babies to ignore their due dates and come when they damned well please...and they frequently please to come late...it's really the one thing I wasn't prepared for.

Mostly because between my age and the gestational diabetes, the smart money had her coming early. Particularly if you add genetics into the picture--she's seriously the first baby in three generations of my family to go past-due.

I can't even tell you if she's thinking about coming out. I spent three hours at the Birth Center on Friday hooked up to monitors because my blood pressure has decided to spike. It turns out, though, that it's worse in the doctor's office than it is over, say, three hours of testing it every 15 minutes. Also, since my bloodwork is fine and the baby is fine, they decided to let her stay put for a little while longer. The other interesting thing I found out? While I was there, I was having contractions every 6-8 minutes. But since they didn't hurt, they sent me home. The other interesting thing? They haven't stopped. So, I've been having contractions every 6-10 minutes or so since then (yes, that would be going on three days now), but they aren't exceptionally painful. They get uncomfortable--particularly in the evenings--but I don't have to stop what I'm doing to focus on them. The Beloved is beside himself, because this is not what the video they showed us in childbirth class was like, so he really doesn't know what to do or expect. Poor guy.

The other thing I found out is that I now get to be on modified bed rest indefinitely. Meaning, until the little bugger decides to come out or is evicted. Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment where hopefully they will tell me how long she's got to make up her mind to come out before they choose for her. I hate to say that I hope they don't make me wait until 42 weeks, but bedrest sucks. I don't want to watch TV, read, or knit. I'd like to go for a walk or clean the disaster that is my house. But these have been declared off-limits for the time being. Plus, The Beloved is still working, so it's me and daytime TV. Yuck.

So, what have I done with all of my free time? I've finished stuff! The Cobblestone Sweater is finally finished. I have no excuses for taking so long with this--grafting the underarms and weaving in the ends seriously took about 30-45 minutes. I finished it while The Beloved watched The Mission on Netflix. Then he put it on. I don't know if he'll let me photograph him in the sweater--he's goofy like that. But it's a very nice sweater. It wasn't difficult at all and it's not girly or anything. Now he wants something with cables. But he's going to have to wait.

I also finished the round baby blanket I started in October.

Pinwheel blanket 3


I'm pretty happy with how it turned out and I think it will be nice and warm and an appropriate size for covering The Tadpole when she's in her carseat or when we're out and about this winter (assuming she ever decides to, you know, be born). I knit until I had 650 stitches on the needles and then used a picot bindoff. The end result is pretty cute, but the edges tend to curl a bit and it seriously took me three days to bind off all the stitches. The blanket is done in Cascade 220 superwash paints. I can't remember the name of the colorway, but it's mostly pinks and yellows and oranges. It's definitely girly, but not pastel. The Tadpole has way more pastels than I intended--mostly because that's what there is for tiny babies, and particularly for baby girls. So I'm making a concerted effort to knit things in brighter and bolder colors.

She's got a purple bonnet made of Mission Falls 1824 Superwash Merino Wool--it's sooooo soft.

Baby Bonnet 2


And a little kimono-sweater made from Colinette Cadenza. Instead of making ties, I'm going to sew snaps on it and add buttons.

Baby kimono w/Buttons


I also finished off the Child's French Socks I started knitting for myself shortly before I found out I was pregnant.

child's french socks 5

child's french socks 8


Now I'm trying to decide what to do next. I've jumped on the Noro scarf bandwagon and have started one of those, but really intended for that to be hospital knitting. However, it may end up being done before the kid decides to come out. Right now, I'm trying to decide whether or not to start sock 2 of an unfinished pair, start another pair of socks, or knit something else for my stubborn child. I have enough Cascade 220 left from The Beloved's sweater to knit her a little tunic and probably a pair of longies. Not to mention the Malabrigo I bought intending to knit longies that's been out sitting in the car. But, as I said, I'm actually so out of sorts that I no longer feel like knitting. I had two false starts on a new pair of socks last night and ended up ripping both out because the yarn just wasn't speaking to me. I don't know whether to give it another go or throw in the towel...Perhaps I'll see if a nap improves my outlook at all.

Mental stability is something other people have

Confessions
Today was not a very good day. It's a Wednesday, which means it's a fasting, blood-draw day for me. Plus, I'm now up to appointments every two weeks, so it was lab work plus a visit with the midwife. Seriously--whoever thought it was a good idea to routinely perform fasting tests on pregnant women a) is probably a man and b) needs to have his head examined.

This morning, I was running late. I had to boil an egg and stop at the supermarket to pick up an English muffin and a bottle of water so that I could eat breakfast after the blood draw. (They draw, I eat, and then they draw again 2 hours later to check my sugars.) I got to the doctor's office at about 8:40 or 8:45, checked in with the receptionist and let her know that I needed to have my glucose levels checked and that I had an appointment with one of the midwives at 9:00. Then I sat down and waited. And waited. And waited. Generally, I don't wait longer than about 5 minutes. But it was pushing 15. I figured the lab was busy, and I didn't see the phlebotomist who usually does my blood draws. At 9:00, the nurse comes out to get me for my appointment and I freak out on her.

"But, the lab hasn't called me yet. I'm gestational diabetic and they need to test my sugars. I can't eat until they test me and they haven't called me yet. I need them to take the draw so I can eat breakfast. I haven't eaten in 12 hours and I'm not allowed to eat until they..." You get the picture. I'm listening to this come out of my mouth and it's like I can't stop it. Nor can I control the volume or timbre of my voice which is getting louder and shriller and beginning to shake as I start to cry.

So they took my blood. Blew out one of my veins in the process (that'll leave a mark), but got the fasting draw. And then let me eat in the examination room. Where I proceeded to find out I'd lost 3 pounds in the past two weeks, had sugar in my urine (this hasn't happened before and didn't really make me happy as it could indicate that diet and exercise are no longer cutting it) and then had to try to explain to the midwife why I was teary that morning. Which, naturally, I couldn't do without crying more.

My morning's performance won me a recommendation for Fish Oil supplements, Vitamin D supplements, and a trip to the counselor to make sure my depression isn't relapsing. Oh, and I feel like a complete asshole due to my inappropriate behavior. I was also advised to perhaps take the day off from work and take a nap instead--which I did. I hate using the sick time at this point because I'd much rather use it during my maternity leave, but I think I really needed the sleep.

In spite of everything, the Tadpole keeps on doing her thing. I might be losing weight, but my belly is growing and is apparently measuring "right on." She's busy and likes to kick and wiggle for me, and be perfectly calm and serene for her Daddy. Let's hope this continues after she comes out. Daddy can deal with her at 2:00 AM.

Right now, I'm at 30 weeks. Her due date is January 17, 2009. However, we know that babies show up when they darn well feel like it. So I propose a little contest:

Guess the Tadpole's Birthday!

Rules are simple. Enter in the comments when you think she's going to show up. I will send sock yarn to the winner--or if the winner doesn't knit, we can discuss an appropriate prize later. The winner will be announced, well, at some point following the Tadpole's birthday :)

Updates and such

baby things
Things are still proceeding as they should. Well, more or less. I'm in the process of removing all normal clothes from my closet and dresser as I keep having moments of insanity when I think they'll fit. Ha. I ordered what will likely be most of my maternity wardrobe earlier this week and need to pop down to the post office to pick it up today.

On Wednesday I had a doctor's appointment and it appears the Tadpole is doing better than me. I'm starting to feel little flutters and the occasional kick here and there. Not every day, but it's reassuring when I feel something going on down there that isn't gas.

I, on the other hand, have developed insane hip/lower back pain. I don't know if it's actually sciatica or if it's just something that falls under the pelvic girdle pain umbrella. All I know is that it's unpleasant. By the end of the day I have a very hard time walking or rising from a seated position. I also can't roll over in bed without waking up and swearing. It's fun stuff. Really. Yoga helps somewhat--particularly the Yin Yoga class I take on Saturday mornings which focuses on joints and connective tissue. My midwife suggested I incorporate more yoga into my day. I'm trying to figure out how I'm supposed to assume a yoga position long enough for it to help my hip/back in my cubicle at work. So, while in theory a good idea...not terribly practical for me. At least not right now.

I also failed my one-hour glucose test, which was cause for more swearing. After I get my "special diet" I need to call and schedule the three-hour. Ask me how thrilled I am. I'm seriously beginning to doubt the conventional wisdom that my body was designed for this.

I'm also awaiting results of my AFP test. Seriously, I will happily take the three-hour glucose test (fasting and all) and even gestational diabetes over bad results on that test.

This is not to say that I am not absolutely delighted to be pregnant. I am thankful every day--hip pain, inability to process sugar correctly, and all--for this baby, which I honestly didn't think would happen for the Beloved and I. But I am human--and I wish that at least part of this could be easy. Oh well.

The other problem I'm running into is an absolute inability to knit baby things. The burp cloth and baby hat lie unfinished on the knitting pile and I can't work on them. It's frustrating. Initially, I thought it was exhaustion. But that's mostly gone now, and I really want to knit. But baby things nearly bring on panic attacks. I start them and find myself exhausted almost immediately. It's almost as though I'm afraid of jinxing something. So, I'm not knitting baby things right now. Or spinning the fiber I bought which is intended to make baby things. I'm going to try and pull out the wheel this weekend and just spin...and I'm finishing up the Beloved's Cobblestone Sweater. Pictures if I can find the battery for my camera...

After that, I suppose I can go back to socks, and I've got yarn for a kimono style sweater that I should be able to wear even with my new figure that I may start knitting. After that, I'm out of ideas. Any thoughts on pregnant-lady knits?

Of socks, sweaters, and cats

Beloved
Hey, remember this?

DublinBay_Snow_3-30.JPG


This pair of socks is the bane of my existence. The Roman Catholic church may have done away with Purgatory, but I tell you these socks make me wonder if we don't, in fact, have it here on earth.

So, when last I spoke of these blasted socks, I was unhappy with the striping pattern and wondering if I shouldn't rip them out and try again on larger needles. Instead, I started the second sock on larger needles to see how it looked. And, frankly, I liked the sock on 0s better. The stitches are so tidy and small. And the sock fits really nice. And maybe the pooling isn't that bad and the striping isn't horribly obnoxious:

DublinBay2_3-30.JPG

DublinBay_Lace_3-30.JPG


But, look where I am on the sock:

DublinBay_3-30.JPG


As you can see, there's still a fair amount of foot and toe left before sock #1 is finished. And I don't know if I have enough freakin' yarn. Yeah.

Now. I may have plenty of yarn because apparently I was on crack when I wound the skein into balls and one ball is larger than the other. And I started with the smaller ball. So, I'm wondering if I shouldn't put this sock aside and knit the second one and then finish up when I know I have leftover yarn?

To tell you the truth, though, this sock is no longer making me happy. In fact, the sock has seemed to work against me every step of the way. I've a mind to stick the sock and the other ball of yarn in a bag and shove the bag to the back of my stash until my mental state has improved somewhat.

It's a shame, though, because the yarn has been wonderful to work with (striping aside)--it's really soft and I bet finished socks would be a divine wearing experience.

Sigh.

On a happier note (hopefully), I finished the body of the Beloved's Cobblestone Sweater yesterday and will start the sleeves today. No pictures, though. Honestly, it looks just like the other pictures--only longer.

This has been part of my problem in regularly maintaining what seems to be mostly a knitting blog...I'm slow and so there's not much to report. Still knitting the sock. Still knitting the sweater. Doesn't look much different. Meh.

Add that to my general to severe sense of malaise of late and...well...bad blogger.

On the malaise front--I thank everyone who commented and/or e-mailed regarding my last couple of posts. I truly appreciate the warm thoughts. Things here are...maybe not better, but not quite so grim. The Beloved and I had a...discussion...about how things are, how I feel, and how I can't have this be my problem. I mean, I treat it like my problem. I very much see it as my problem and feel like it's my problem--largely because I don't get a sense from him that he sees any sort of problem at all. Which mostly leaves me feeling....like I'm not enough. Or like there's something wrong with me that makes me as bothered and upset as I've been. Part of me thinks it may be time to dig my therapist's business card out of my wallet. And then another part thinks, well, what the hell is he going to do about it? He can't fix anything or make it better. I don't know. It all just seems to require more effort or energy than I can muster right now.

Polly knows how I feel. Well, on the energy front.

Polly15_033008.JPG


It's hard work being that cute. Seriously.

Polly_033008.JPG

Look--Knitting!

baby things
cobblestone3


I've started in on a sweater for my beloved spouse. This is about 12 inches of the Cobblestone Sweater from the Fall 2007 issue of Interweave Knits. It makes for excellent TV knitting.

I wish I could tell you I've been doing really productive things in my month of silence, but no. I've been watching a lot of TV. Netflix on demand, mostly, but TV nonetheless. I've also been playing Rock Band. We're planning on making family members play on Easter Sunday to determine who gets to sit at the dining room table and who gets shunted off to the satellite locations. I hope they've all been practising their cowbell.

I also started these, which I may or may not finish:

babycalam3


Cute, eh? They're just a bit too small for the babies I know. And since it appears I'm never going to have one of my own, looking at the wee sockie just makes me miserable. I did start a second sock, but I just don't have it in me right now to work on it. Maybe in a couple of weeks. I seem to do this in fits and starts.

I also started a bunny intended for Backwoods, but that's been lingering in the unfinished pile for a while, too. It seems to elicit a similar emotional response to the wee socks, and so I just haven't been able to bring myself to complete it. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to bring myself to rip it out, either, so it sits there unfinished and mocks me in the dead of night.

I should probably elaborate a little: I haven't written because I've been...well...miserable lately. And it's generally better if I don't inflict myself on others when I hit this sort of mood. In brief, anything I would have written over the past several weeks would have earned me a well-deserved vacation at my local psychiatric ward. And, while I could probably use the rest, I don't think they'd let me take my knitting, and that just wouldn't do at all.

The Beloved and I have been trying to start a family for over a year. Well, we've been trying in earnest for over a year--I took my last birth control pill about four years ago for what that's worth. Our family still consists of four cats. If I am honest with myself, I realise that this is not likely to change--until the number of cats shrinks due to attrition. And this is basically intolerable to me. My husband, being a man, does not see what the problem is.

Maybe that's unfair. He keeps telling me he wants me to be happy; maybe it's only a problem to me and I need to "chill out and not worry so much." I don't know. What I do know is that I'm very tired. And exceptionally cranky. And very bitter. I don't particularly enjoy myself right now which basically means I've retreated into a dark, dank little den of self-pity. Which really doesn't help matters at all, but since I'm fresh out of ideas....

Anyhow. There's more light in the evening. It's getting warm enough to walk again. I'm sure the dark, nasty mood will come and go until I come to terms with what is and figure out how to go on from here.

Until then, there's Rock Band and the sweater. I should start the arm by the end of the week. I'll keep y'all posted.

Hey, Look What I Found!

baby things
My camera! Woo-hoo!

Now I can show you pictures of my baby socks and the finished Calamity socks. Can you stand it?

babyrr4

Baby Socks
Pattern: A variation on the Magic 28 theme (I think they were Magic 36)
Yarn: Yarn Pirate 100% merino sock yarn in the "Rum Runner" colorway
Purchased from: Yarn Pirate "Booty Club"
Needles: Susan Bates US size 1/2.25 mm (5-7 inch DPNs)


Cute, aren't they? But a little small for me. These fit a bit better:

calamity

Plain vanilla with a side of picot socks
Yarn: Yarn Pirate BFL sock yarn in the "Calamity" colorway
Purchased from" Yarn Pirate "Booty Club"
Needles: Knitpicks US size 1.5/2.5 mm (5-6 inch DPNs)


The lighting is crappy. I apologize. I miss sunshine, but am too lazy to use the photo editor right now...

calamleg

calamtoes


I like them. They're cute. They took forever to finish, but I blame the Alpaca Silk Shrug. No pictures of that one, yet. I'm on the ruffle, which means it is almost done. The ruffle is supposed to be six inches long--I've knit three. It's killing me. The 5x5 ribbing may be more boring than the miles of stockinette. But I try to keep going because the end really is in sight.

I also started a pair of socks out of the "Butternut" colorway. I'm not thrilled with them. I like the colors and I like the texture of the yarn, which is a merino/tencel blend, but the colors are pooling funny. Now, I'm generally not bothered much by pooling, but, thus far, my sock just looks goofy. I can't get a picture that even approximates--I'll need sun for that one. I'm not ready to pull it out yet, because I can't be sure that it won't get better. I can live with a goofy looking cuff it it evens out eventually, but... (whine).

In other knitting news, I got a Ravelry request to use one of the photos of my Epiphany mittens (this one, I think) as a featured photo for the pattern I used (Basic Pattern for Children's Mittens by Elizabeth Durand). Neato, eh?

Otherwise, there isn't much else to report. Work is, well, work. I had my 90-day review last week, and they're letting me stay, so, that's good. They're happy with my work; I just need to get faster. Which I already knew, so...

The Beloved and I are refinancing the house. I'm sure it will be fine and it's the right thing to do and all, but just thinking about the large amounts of money involved just makes me feel ill. When the papers are all signed and its over, I'll be fine, but until that point I think I'll just hide under the bed or something.

PFC Sibling is still in medic training in Texas. She called last week to report that her orders now state that she will be shipping out for Iraq in June. It's not a surprise, but it's still a rather jarring reality. Last Sunday I was at a church brunch and someone asked about my sister. Another woman sitting with us said in shock and horror, "well how old is she?" My sister will be 28 next week. "Oh, well that's OK. At least she's not a baby."

Excuse me? Fortunately for everyone, I had a seven-year-old sitting next to me so I couldn't tell her what I really thought. Like it's somehow less horrible for my sister to go to war since she's "older." Like if her transport gets blown up on the way to some tent city hospital it'll be OK. You know, they should serve liquor at church brunches.

On that happy note, it is frickin' freezing here. I need to see why my fire isn't warming up the room. Maybe I should put my new socks on?

Good News, Bad News

exchanges
So, the good news is I've gotten a lot of knitting done lately! I've finished my picot socks knit with Yarn Pirate Calamity. They just need to be washed and blocked. I'm also nearly finished with the body of the Alpaca Silk Shrug--I've got about 20 rows left on the last sleeve, then seaming, then the six-inch ruffle.

The bad news? I can't show any of them to you. I've misplaced my freaking camera. Sigh.

This has been pretty much par for the course for me this past week or two.

A week ago today, I left for work at 7:30. Only I picked up the wrong set of keys, locking myself out of my house and my car. Yes, I felt smart. Particularly when The Beloved had to drive home from work--45 minutes away--to let me in. Did I mention how smart I felt?

Then The Beloved asked (very nicely) if he could have a night to raid on freakin' WoW. Yeah. This made me happy. But since I don't want to be the shrew wife who tells him, no, no hobbies for you, Computer Man, we agreed on a night. The deal was, I give him Friday Night for raiding and he reads chapter 11 of this book for me. I'm striving for the delusion that we will at least be speaking the same language vis-a-vis certain topics.

And add to all that fun the fact that I've just been extremely out of sorts. I'm not sure if it's my bad week or if it's seasonal depression or if it's something else. I'm just exceedingly moody and not desirous of getting out of bed in the morning. Meh.

The only thing I can think that could possibly help is to start a new knitting project. So, as soon as the body of the shrug is finished, I'll wind this yarn up:
ypbutternut3

and begin some new socks. I'm thinking about knitting these socks (scroll down, they're there) with that tasty merino/tencel yarn. And as soon as I finish the ASS, er, Alpaca Silk Shrug, I'll start on the Cobblestone Sweater for my darling spouse. So, I'm hoping that those will suffice as glimmers of hope on the horizon.

On an unrelated note...well, maybe related, because the activity tickles me just a bit, I have two to Pay it Forward: The Crafty Preppy; and The Quintessential Procrastinator! In six to nine months, you will each receive something handmade from me! I'll be in touch shortly. But the rest of you--notice that I've only got two people for whom to make something! That means there is room for one more! So, the next person who leaves a comment and wants to pay some handmade gift goodness forward will be in. If you've got questions as to what in the hell I'm talking about, read the bottom half of this post.

The Two Bears and a Wintry Mix of Whatnot

finished objects
bears2.JPG

Teddy Bears
Pattern: Knitted Cuddlies available from Knitting Daily
Yarn: Patons Classic Wool Merino in the "Natural Mix" colorway
Purchased from: My local AC Moore
Needles: Knitpicks US size 7/4.5 mm (4 DPNs)

If you think these look familiar, you're right. This is the same pattern used to make Luigi (scroll down, I promise he's there). The pattern was quick, easy, and just the ticket for a handmade addition to Giving Tree gifts for Boy Baby and Girl Baby. I finished them on Saturday as Sunday was supposed to be the dropoff day at church. However, we had what is referred to as a big-ass Noreaster that day and church was canceled. Have you ever heard of anything so crazy? So I spent the rest of the day sitting on the couch and snuggling with Polly and knitting on the Alpaca Silk Shrug. Well, not really, but I wish that's how I spent my day.

Actually, I spent a good portion of the day trying to shovel out so that I could go to work this morning. The Beloved is on vacation and has come down with the obligatory cold. So he was of little help. Then the snowblower died. Then my neighbor's snow blower died. I seriously considered drinking the rest of the open bottle of sherry and then lying down naked in the back yard to see how long it would take me to die of exposure.

Fortunately my neighbor was able to fix his snowblower and he was able to remove the mountain of snow left by the plow. But then I had to shovel out another two times--after the sidewalk plow came through and again after the street plow came by again and knocked a wall of snow into my driveway. What is the appropriate gift for your snowblowing angel of a neighbor anyway? My husband, speaking in what I can only imagine was a fever accompanying his cold, asked our neighbor if he liked meat. (I said--find out if Mr. and Mrs. Neighbor are allergic to nuts--if no, we can send over some of the cookies I plan to bake this week. He asks "Do you like meat?" Sigh.) Apparently, my Beloved Spouse was thinking we could pick up a gift certificate to The Meat House for their Christmas Roast. The question just didn't come out sounding very...suave. My neighbor is probably convinced that we're completely deranged.

This morning I woke to find that everything was coated with ice. This makes it hard for the car to go. It was too much--I went inside and proceeded to have a meltdown at my husband. Who looks at me and says, "I thought you were good under pressure." Wonder of wonders, he is still alive. It must be a Christmas miracle.

Apparently it will take another Christmas miracle for us to get a tree. So, Christmas Eve is one week from today. Naturally, the Rotary Christmas Tree sale was not going on tonight. The Beloved, being good and patient and pragmatic, said "We'll try again tomorrow and we'll go earlier--before dinner." Saisquoi, being tired and bitter and resentful, said "I don't know why I expected to be able to buy a freakin' tree the week before Christmas anyway." I must be a South Pole elf.

Anyhow. I'm drinking egg nogg, trying very hard to feel Christmasy, what with all the snow and all, but I'm just tired and cranky. I'm afraid I'm coming down with my sweetie's cold (isn't sharing great?) and still have to get ready to host my in-laws on Christmas Eve, when, actually, I'll be at church trying somehow to pull together a children's story with participation for the service. (The prep work with the kids should have gotten done yesterday. But no church, so...) You know, I like the idea of Christmas. I like the stories. I like the singing. I like the time spent with family. All of this other stuff? Not so much. I'm not having fun right now, and I'm not quite sure how to make it be fun and not so painfully stressful.

So, instead, I'll have another egg nogg and work on my shrug and snuggle my cat and my husband. And if any of you have any ideas or any thoughts on alleviating pre-Christmas malaise, feel free to pass them along.

I'll try to post something cheerier tomorrow. Maybe if we manage to find a freakin' tree...

What happened to fall?

Polly
So, it's supposed to be close to 90 degrees today. September 25. Never mind the fact that I don't like it when the temperature tops 80 in the summer. It's fall now. I want the leaves to change and I want to wear sweaters. I do not want to be sweating like a water buffalo during my interview this afternoon.

Yes, apparently EBSCO works fast. I'll be interviewing with them at 3:00 this afternoon. According to the Humanities Abstracting manager, I'll fill out paperwork when I get there (application, references, background check--all very standard). Then I'll meet with her and whoever else is on the interviewing team. Then, after the interview, I'll have an abstracting test and a proofing test. Needless to say, sleep was elusive last night. I feel like I'm going to a final exam for which I failed to study. Not that the process doesn't make perfect sense--I'm applying to be an Abstractor. They need to know if I can do it or not. It's just created the greatest opportunity for my social anxiety and my inner grade pig to become fast friends. The Beloved will be glad when this is over. And, quite frankly, so will I.

Whining out of the way, I hope this goes well. I mean, I can always stay where I am, but I'm tired of working two low-paying jobs without benefits 45-60 minutes away from my house. And I'm tired of waiting for the college to step up and "do the right thing" by either paying me a decent hourly wage or by giving me enough hours so that I qualify for benefits. It's like they think librarianship is a form of masochism. Which maybe it is. It all just makes me so very tired. Which makes me feel whiny. So I'll stop. Really.

Thank you for your comments about Polly and getting a second opinion. It makes me feel a little less mental. We saw yet another vet yesterday (the third we've seen at this practice), and no mention of Kitty Diet Food was made. They wanted to do an ultrasound, but she's not currently holding enough in her bladder to make that possible, so we're back to an extended round of antibiotics (2 weeks instead of 10 days). I may let them do the ultrasound after this round of drugs, just to make sure they haven't missed anything. The other option is for her to get a referral to Internal Medicine, which doesn't thrill me at all. However, none of us really want to go through this for a third time if we can help it. In the meantime, I'm trying to see if there's anyone in the area who specializes in large breed cats so that I've got someone in place for a second opinion if necessary.

If I'm this bad about my cat, does it mean I'll be absolutely psychotic if we ever have kids?

Why there is nothing to report

misc.
KelInCal hit the nail on her head with her comment regarding my previous post. Yes, I love The King. But, yes, I was also trying to distract you all from my utter lack of productivity.

Here's what's been going on (unfortunately, it's not knitting) ...

Resident Sibling is still with us. She has been unemployed for most of the summer. It's gotten really old, really fast. Her story? She's trying to join the Army, but needed to lose weight so they would take her. So she goes to the gym twice a day with her recruiter. And doesn't do anything else except eat my food and watch The Beloved's TV set and play Sudoku. Sounds lovely, doesn't it? And, in fact, like something I would enjoy doing--only someone needs to pay the bills to keep us in this lap of luxury. So I've been working extra hours at my church library job, plugging away at the cataloging, unprocessing, and reprocessing the collection. It's slow going, but I'm beginning to see progress.

Unfortunately, all this work is beginning to take its toll in more than one way. First, I have a lot of negative feelings regarding this job. When the organization originally hired me in 2004, I was a full-time, salaried employee with things like health care and a retirement account. Last summer (2006), the organization lost half of its funding and I lost my job. Granted, it was my choice to leave when I did instead of hanging out waiting for the funds to literally dry up, but it still would not have been my first choice.

I agreed to go back and finish cataloging the collection so that it was accessible via the world wide web. After all, my replacement job at the college is only half-time. So, last year, I worked 20 hours/week at the college and 12 hours/week at the church library. It was OK, aside from my bitterness and resentfulness. This summer I did not have the college job as I'm only employed during the school year. So I upped my hours at the church to 20 hours/week. The volunteers who are supposed to have been helping appear to have vanished during the summer. So, while I've gotten a lot done, I could have done more had others followed through. More bitterness. More resentfulness. Then, two weeks ago, give or take--crisis sets in:

Tendinitis.

I've had bouts of mild to severe tendinitis in my right wrist since college. Then, it would manifest during finals week when my life consisted of writing 20 hours a day on computer or in blue book. By the time I was finished with exams, I was unable to hold a pencil. It's not that bad right now, but it bothers me enough to make knitting a questionable activity. At first, the pain wasn't so bad--but I noticed goofiness in my tension. Which resulted in frogging half of the second Angel's Rest sock. There was some cursing involved, but not too much. After that, I thought I'd take a little break to see if extra rest would help. Nope. Between cataloging and removing labels and packing tape from books, my right wrist didn't get any better and I began to notice pain in my left wrist. Oh, joy. So knitting and spinning have been out of the question due to pain and/or lack of control.

This does not make for a happy Saisquoi. Neither, truth be told, does my unemployed Resident Sibling. So I've been an absolute joy to be around, as you might imagine.

In the midst of all this misery, though, I've discovered something that desperately needed doing ...

Housework.

Doing a little bit every day, my house is almost presentable. Which is good, because in a moment of absolute fucking insanity I decided to host the Labor Day Weekend Family Sunday dinner. It's the Sunday before The Beloved's 40th birthday, and I thought it would be the easiest way to ensure a family birthday party. I did the final count yesterday and if everyone shows up, there will be 25 people in my house. Jesus Christ.

And because one party isn't enough, I'm planning a surprise party for the following day. That will be for our friends. Dude--it seemed practical at the time because there was no way I could fit all of our family and friends into our tiny little house. Actually, though, I'm planning a very low-key get-together for Monday. Particularly since I'm not telling The Beloved about it at all. My plan is just to have people show up. Surprise! I'm a little concerned that he'll want to kill me, but hell--you only turn 40 once. And he bet me I wouldn't throw him a party. Hah. See--he wanted one. Otherwise he never would have baited me like that. Of course, since I am a Virgo, I may be up till three in the morning the night before with an impromptu ice sculpture....

On a happier note: I'm back at the college as of last week. So, I may cut my hours back at the church. I was also very cautious last week regarding the amount of time spent at the computer or doing things that may cause stress to my wrists, with the happy result of being able to finally turn the heel on the Angel's Rest sock last night. Today I'll hopefully be able to pick up the gusset stitches after dinner and get some work done on the foot. Particularly since this month's Yarn Pirate Booty Club shipment arrived yesterday. Pictures in a couple of days--if I finish the current sock, that is...

Crisis averted.

shopping
Well, maybe. I took what seemed to be the consensus and went shopping early and now have an outfit for my interview next week. No shoes yet--but I've still got time to worry about that. Here's what I've got--beige ankle-length linen skirt and blue short sleeved linen/eyelet blouse. Nice and conservative. Good librarian gear. I really like the blouse. What I don't like is my current figure. So, I've lost weight from around my middle and my rear but not from, erm, up top. In fact, they seem to be getting bigger. So, while I'm now happily wearing a size 10 skirt, the buttons were popping on the size large blouse. Apparently, my chest needs about a 2XL, even though the rest hangs something awful. So I did something I never thought I would do. Ever. I bought a Minimizer Bra. It was terribly distressing. But I now fit into a large blouse. And the buttons don't gap.

The Beloved, naturally, is calling me on all my whinging. "I bet when you were young, you would have killed to have large..." Yeah. This is called be careful what you wish for because it just may come to pass. God help me should I ever become pregnant. I probably won't be able to stand up straight.

It is a pretty blouse, though. The eyelets and the collar and the color... it all works for me. I think it will be just fine on Wednesday. Provided I can find adequate shoes. Naturally, I also have a backup. It's bright, screaming pink with three-quarter sleeves. Also linen. Also quite nice. I'll wear it if it's cold. Or if I decide against showing my arms.

I also picked up a non-interview shirt for fun. Because it was too cool to pass up. It has skulls on it. I'm thinking of wearing it to work tomorrow. And maybe, just maybe, to the Knit and Crochet Show. You see, I figure if I can get out of work early enough (the rest of the office closes at 2:30 and I may just head out with them), I can go over to Manchester from Concord before going home, thus saving gas. And maybe, just maybe, I can squeeze out enough money for something pretty from Grafton Fibers. Yippee!

One Down!

socks


One to go. Don't worry. It is, in fact, started. Even though I bought more sock yarn yesterday. *Sigh*

I'm currently in the midst of a major dilemma, though. This weekend is the Knit & Crochet Show up the road in Manchester. I had planned on going simply because Grafton Fibers will be one of the vendors. And, to be honest, I covet that fiber. I dream about it at night. My spinning is probably not at a point to do it justice at all, but I could keep it in my fiber basket and pat it. (Stephanie spun some up recently. Look here and here to gaze upon hers.) Besides, driving 45 minutes to go and look at yarn and fiber-y things is a perfectly reasonable way to spend a Saturday.

Except. I just found out I have a job interview next week for a position in the town in which I reside. Yes, Virginia, that would mean zero commute for Saisquoi. It's only half-time, but zero commute. I could ride my bike to work, weather permitting. Or the moped :) This is very appealing. Unfortunately, all of my "professional" looking dresses were purchased prior to the rather drastic weight loss I've experienced in the last six months or so. They are all rather large. I've got some summery dresses that fit (after all, I had to wear something in Chicago), but they really don't work for this particular situation. Halter dress at an interview? I don't think so. It is a librarian job, after all.

So, what's a girl to do? Get by with what I've got and go buy beautiful fiber? Or spend Saturday looking for something "appropriate" and not ill-fitting? I can't believe I'm actually bitching about the prospect of buying clothes. I'd just mentally allocated those funds elsewhere and am a little put out about the change in plans...

It's not even a full moon

scarves
But it is the end of the semester. Maybe it's the same sort of thing.

So. Yesterday the nice young man who services the projector installed in our conference room (the closest thing we have to a "high-tech" classroom at the school where I am employed) came in to, well, service the damned thing and make it work. He vacuumed it (the foolish thing was full of dust and nastiness), checked it out to make sure it was happy (it was a little hot), gave it a nice pat on the head and left. As far as I know, the thing was working like a charm when he left.

Is it working this morning? No. Of course not. Why would it?

I suspect the bulb has decided to go. Mostly because the red "Lamp" light is on. It turns on and works for about three minutes and then goes out. Great.

There's a candidate here interviewing for a faculty position--I think in graphic design. The candidate would like to be able to show her work. The committee would like to see her work. I can't make the damned projector work. Double-great.

Now, we do have a small, portable projector. And a laptop. So, theoretically, the candidate can hook up to that and go. It's not as nice or as powerful, but it will work. Fortunately, the Dean just stopped by (he is a very nice and reasonable man) and I let him know what's going on. He thinks that the small projector will be just fine, and commended me on my quick thinking. Hah. If only he knew.

All of this drama is, of course, following on the heels of an amazingly bad night at job #2 last night. Every time I go there, I get crazier and crazier. Is it worth all the aggravation? Probably not. But I'm extraordinarily stubborn and I really, really, really want to see this last project through before I leave. God give me strength.

You know, I know that we all go through times like this. What are your solutions--or means of coping when there simply is no solution?

On a happier note, the Dream Swatch will be finished today. It's measuring in at just over 40 inches, and while I still have some yarn left, my head really isn't all that big. So, the plan is to cast off at lunchtime (in about 45 minutes), weave in the ends when I get home, wet block it overnight, and voila, something beautiful for tomorrow to get me through another day of sheer hell at job #2. Pictures tonight!

The S is for Sucks

weather
Ah, April. Easter is just around the corner. And this is what it looked like outside of my office at about 3:00 this afternoon:

Stunning, eh? Yeah. I'm all done with this. All. Done.

So, S is also for Snow and Sleet and Slush--all of which fell from the sky this afternoon between 3 and 7 while I was busily cataloging at job #2.

And S is for Slip and Slide and Skid which is what I did on the way home since NO ONE in the eight or nine towns I drive through on my commute chose to treat the roads in any way, shape or form.

S is for Swear, which I also did during my drive--particularly while slipping, sliding and skidding.

But S is also for Sigh, which is what I did after finally arriving home and getting a Smile from my Beloved Spouse.

And S is for Spring rolls, which made a quick and easy Snack after slipping, sliding, skidding and swearing for an hour and a half. Accompanied by Sam Adams, my snack has almost made me feel human again. Almost.

So, the only thing left to do is Soak in a nice hot tub with some Scented Salts and a Steamy novel.

Seriously.

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