Saisquoi?

The Tadpole is getting bigger. She was four weeks old on Wednesday. I thought about posting--honestly, I did. But she's been very fussy this week. I think she may be having a growth spurt, but we'll find that out on Monday at Mommy Group or Wednesday at the One Month Checkup.

She has spent much of the week in her pouch sling (I have this one and another from this company that were gifted to me before the baby was born), which is good because it generally keeps her from screaming, but still allows me to do some things with my hands. Like type this post :) Or knit. Or, God help me, eat something. Her father is wondering if we shouldn't be calling her Roo instead.

I didn't realize that part of the reason women drop so much weight when breastfeeding is because the little tyrant does not want to be put down long enough so that Mommy can restock the stores, so to speak. I've lost about 30 pounds in the past four weeks, and ironically look better than I've looked in years. Well, except for the dark circles under my eyes. And the fact that I really need a haircut, but am not sure how to manage that with Baby. I was out of maternity clothes two weeks after the baby was born and am now finding that my pre-maternity pants are too big. However, I am reluctant to buy new pants because I'm not sure where exactly I'm going to end up.

The Beloved suggests more ice cream.

Anyway. The Tadpole continues to be lots of fun when she isn't channelling Mussolini. We try to go out somewhere every day--mostly because Mama needs O-U-T at some point or she becomes very squirrely. And we're finding that if Mama is happier, Tadpole is happier. Funny, that. Last week, we had lunch in an actual restaurant for the first time with Laura, who is a very brave soul. Laura was also the photographer for this outing, so we thank her hundreds of times over for the pictures.



She also captured pictures of Baby's first yarn crawl. You can't start them too young...

Here we are at the Yarn Basket:



And at Yarn for Ewe:



As you can see, The Tadpole already charms people wherever she goes. According to her Grandma (my mother), I have been blessed with a child just like me--absolutely perfect and angelic when around other people, and saving up all nightmarish behaviour for her Daddy and me. Ah, parenthood.

But I forgive her. Seriously, how could you not forgive this face?

Well, the groundhog has proclaimed 6 more weeks of winter. Good thing the little bastard lives in Pennsylvania--otherwise, I'd be tempted to take PFC Sibling's BB Gun out of the closet and hunt him down.

Last night, The Beloved took out the mirror on the passenger side of his car--sliding into my car as he tried to pull into our driveway. I haven't been out to see what he did to my car in the process. But getting in and out of our house should qualify us for some sort of hazardous pay. We can't see around the snowbanks left by the plow when backing out of the driveway. I'm a little nervous because The Tadpole and I need to make our first "solo" outing today so that I can authorize the doctor's office to release medical information to the short-term disability people so that I may collect a small amount of money during part of my maternity leave. Important, as I've realized that not only do I need to keep the baby clothed, but that I don't really own any practical nursing tops. The button-down shirts I owned would be great if I could button them over my (or Dolly Parton's) chest. I also could do with some more bras as both of us tend to wind up covered in milk after a feeding--even if I cover up with a burp cloth or a towel. The things I never thought of!

At least I know I'm producing enough food for her.

But back to the rodent. I should have seen it coming. We're supposed to get more snow tomorrow--if the storm tracks to the East (or--if the Gods are smiling on us), we should only get 1-3 inches. But, if the storm tracks to the West, we'll be up in the 4-7+ inches range. Super fun as The Beloved has returned to work, so The Tadpole and I will have to try and keep up with the snow as we need to get out of the driveway on Wednesday morning to go for her 2 week checkup. The snowbanks beside our driveway are already taller than my car, making me wonder where the snow is going to go...but it's all part of the adventure of living in New England, yeah? The fun here never ends!

Actually, things here are pretty fun--outside of the weather. The Tadpole continues to amaze me. She is so much fun. Right now, she's taking a nap in my lap while I type. She's fairly laid back, eating well, and sleeping well. She's also starting to be awake for longer periods of time, and she loves to play with her Daddy and me. Playing largely consists of making goofy faces at us, but she does it with aplomb. She also likes to sit in her bouncy chair or in her sling--which means I can occasionally do some knitting. I'm working on a pair of Heelless Sleeping Socks from Knitting Vintage Socks by Nancy Bush and using some Yarn Pirate BFL sock yarn in the June Bug colorway (Booty Club exclusive). However, the knitting is very slow going because the baby is distracting. In the best possible way. Speaking of distracting...I'm sure she needs a kiss just now...

Well, the Tadpole decided to stay where she was until the Bush administration was officially over. I went to the hospital at about 11:00 on the night of January 20, and she was born at high noon the following day (alyson: your guess was closest! E-mail me or message me on Ravelry and we'll talk sock yarn).

I spent the morning in a triage room watching inauguration coverage on NBC--by the time they moved me to the room where I spent the rest of my hospital stay, I didn't really care much about how many balls the President and First Lady attended, who made Mrs. Obama's dresses, or, well, anything else, to tell you the truth.

All in all, though, my labor was very routine and went quicker than I think the doctor expected. I will spare you the gruesome details--the important part was that it ended in this:



As unpleasant as labor, pregnancy induced hypertension, gestational diabetes, and the doubts we had about whether we were able to produce a child were--she was worth all of it. The Tadpole is the most amazing little being I have ever encountered, and her Daddy and I are absolutely smitten.

The fact that she has come during such interesting times has given me food for thought. Unfortunately, my brain hasn't quite caught back up yet--they tell me that sleep deprivation will do this and that eventually I'll be able to hold coherent conversations that do not revolve around my baby's eating and sleeping habits, or my pride in her learning to suck her thumb.

So, instead, I'll leave you with something you may or may not have seen as part of last week's inaugural coverage. Bishop Robinson was invited to give the invocation at the inaugural kick-off celebration at the Lincoln Memorial. You know--the concert aired on HBO with Bono, the Boss, Beyonce, and all? Well, the HBO coverage did not include the invocation. Because I was hugely pregnant, overdue, and way out of sorts, I was irked, but didn't pay it much mind. This morning, I found the text of the prayer and this video:



If you haven't seen the video or read the prayer, I encourage you to take the time to glance through it--regardless of your religious affiliation. While directed largely at our new president, they are words for all of us to remember as we move forward into this new era.

So, my due date has come and gone. While I know that it's pretty normal for babies to ignore their due dates and come when they damned well please...and they frequently please to come late...it's really the one thing I wasn't prepared for.

Mostly because between my age and the gestational diabetes, the smart money had her coming early. Particularly if you add genetics into the picture--she's seriously the first baby in three generations of my family to go past-due.

I can't even tell you if she's thinking about coming out. I spent three hours at the Birth Center on Friday hooked up to monitors because my blood pressure has decided to spike. It turns out, though, that it's worse in the doctor's office than it is over, say, three hours of testing it every 15 minutes. Also, since my bloodwork is fine and the baby is fine, they decided to let her stay put for a little while longer. The other interesting thing I found out? While I was there, I was having contractions every 6-8 minutes. But since they didn't hurt, they sent me home. The other interesting thing? They haven't stopped. So, I've been having contractions every 6-10 minutes or so since then (yes, that would be going on three days now), but they aren't exceptionally painful. They get uncomfortable--particularly in the evenings--but I don't have to stop what I'm doing to focus on them. The Beloved is beside himself, because this is not what the video they showed us in childbirth class was like, so he really doesn't know what to do or expect. Poor guy.

The other thing I found out is that I now get to be on modified bed rest indefinitely. Meaning, until the little bugger decides to come out or is evicted. Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment where hopefully they will tell me how long she's got to make up her mind to come out before they choose for her. I hate to say that I hope they don't make me wait until 42 weeks, but bedrest sucks. I don't want to watch TV, read, or knit. I'd like to go for a walk or clean the disaster that is my house. But these have been declared off-limits for the time being. Plus, The Beloved is still working, so it's me and daytime TV. Yuck.

So, what have I done with all of my free time? I've finished stuff! The Cobblestone Sweater is finally finished. I have no excuses for taking so long with this--grafting the underarms and weaving in the ends seriously took about 30-45 minutes. I finished it while The Beloved watched The Mission on Netflix. Then he put it on. I don't know if he'll let me photograph him in the sweater--he's goofy like that. But it's a very nice sweater. It wasn't difficult at all and it's not girly or anything. Now he wants something with cables. But he's going to have to wait.

I also finished the round baby blanket I started in October.



I'm pretty happy with how it turned out and I think it will be nice and warm and an appropriate size for covering The Tadpole when she's in her carseat or when we're out and about this winter (assuming she ever decides to, you know, be born). I knit until I had 650 stitches on the needles and then used a picot bindoff. The end result is pretty cute, but the edges tend to curl a bit and it seriously took me three days to bind off all the stitches. The blanket is done in Cascade 220 superwash paints. I can't remember the name of the colorway, but it's mostly pinks and yellows and oranges. It's definitely girly, but not pastel. The Tadpole has way more pastels than I intended--mostly because that's what there is for tiny babies, and particularly for baby girls. So I'm making a concerted effort to knit things in brighter and bolder colors.

She's got a purple bonnet made of Mission Falls 1824 Superwash Merino Wool--it's sooooo soft.



And a little kimono-sweater made from Colinette Cadenza. Instead of making ties, I'm going to sew snaps on it and add buttons.



I also finished off the Child's French Socks I started knitting for myself shortly before I found out I was pregnant.





Now I'm trying to decide what to do next. I've jumped on the Noro scarf bandwagon and have started one of those, but really intended for that to be hospital knitting. However, it may end up being done before the kid decides to come out. Right now, I'm trying to decide whether or not to start sock 2 of an unfinished pair, start another pair of socks, or knit something else for my stubborn child. I have enough Cascade 220 left from The Beloved's sweater to knit her a little tunic and probably a pair of longies. Not to mention the Malabrigo I bought intending to knit longies that's been out sitting in the car. But, as I said, I'm actually so out of sorts that I no longer feel like knitting. I had two false starts on a new pair of socks last night and ended up ripping both out because the yarn just wasn't speaking to me. I don't know whether to give it another go or throw in the towel...Perhaps I'll see if a nap improves my outlook at all.

Or Winter, anyhow.







I'd like to say, my husband is a saint. At 36 weeks pregnant, I'm not really able to help with snow removal. I tried the other day to shovel out around my car and it just made me have contractions, so we're all done with that right now...

We really are thinking about Christmas here, too...in spite of all the snow. I put up a tree:



Please forgive the crappy picture--we haven't had much natural light 'round these parts lately.

I'm home from work today because the plow left us a wall of snow and there was no way I was getting out. Hopefully a) I will not go into labor today and b) the Beloved will be able to get at least one of the cars dug out. Have I mentioned what a good guy he is?

Speaking of him, I've finally, finally finished the Cobblestone Sweater. Well, mostly. I need to graft under the arms and wash it. If I do that today, it might be dry so that I can wrap it and put it under the tree for him. No pictures, yet, but hopefully he'll let me take pictures when the sweater is complete and wearable.

I've also knit a bunch of small baby things. I've got a baby sweater that I've been meaning to finish for a good month and have been working consistently on a round blanket. But, I gotta tell you, being able to knock out a hat, or mittens, or socks in a couple of days is very satisfying.









I think my favorite is the coral-colored hat. The Tadpole will be required to wear hospital garb while we're at the hospital as part of their security protocol. But I can bring a hat for her, so I think I'm going to put that little one on her as soon as I can. She's also got a little hat made from leftover yarn from her coming home sweater, and so that will likely be a going home hat.

The Beloved is bemused with my knitting of teeny-tiny things. Today I plan to work on either the never-ending baby blanket or the unfinished kimono sweater. After I wrap gifts. And do laundry. The baby laundry is almost done--her clothes are clean and put away, sheets and towels are done, and I'm left with baby blankets and diapers to take care of. Of course, I should also make sure that the Beloved and I have clean clothes and linens as well. And perhaps do some more picking up before Christmas Eve when my in-laws are scheduled to come for a visit.

Fortunately, I appear to be nesting. I have to be careful about how much I do--I have moments when my energy level feels very high and I get a lot done, and then my back starts to hurt or I start having contractions. Oops. But there's so much left to do--our house looks like a bomb hit it and I'd like to be a little more squared away before the baby shows up....

We'll see what happens, I suppose.

Today was not a very good day. It's a Wednesday, which means it's a fasting, blood-draw day for me. Plus, I'm now up to appointments every two weeks, so it was lab work plus a visit with the midwife. Seriously--whoever thought it was a good idea to routinely perform fasting tests on pregnant women a) is probably a man and b) needs to have his head examined.

This morning, I was running late. I had to boil an egg and stop at the supermarket to pick up an English muffin and a bottle of water so that I could eat breakfast after the blood draw. (They draw, I eat, and then they draw again 2 hours later to check my sugars.) I got to the doctor's office at about 8:40 or 8:45, checked in with the receptionist and let her know that I needed to have my glucose levels checked and that I had an appointment with one of the midwives at 9:00. Then I sat down and waited. And waited. And waited. Generally, I don't wait longer than about 5 minutes. But it was pushing 15. I figured the lab was busy, and I didn't see the phlebotomist who usually does my blood draws. At 9:00, the nurse comes out to get me for my appointment and I freak out on her.

"But, the lab hasn't called me yet. I'm gestational diabetic and they need to test my sugars. I can't eat until they test me and they haven't called me yet. I need them to take the draw so I can eat breakfast. I haven't eaten in 12 hours and I'm not allowed to eat until they..." You get the picture. I'm listening to this come out of my mouth and it's like I can't stop it. Nor can I control the volume or timbre of my voice which is getting louder and shriller and beginning to shake as I start to cry.

So they took my blood. Blew out one of my veins in the process (that'll leave a mark), but got the fasting draw. And then let me eat in the examination room. Where I proceeded to find out I'd lost 3 pounds in the past two weeks, had sugar in my urine (this hasn't happened before and didn't really make me happy as it could indicate that diet and exercise are no longer cutting it) and then had to try to explain to the midwife why I was teary that morning. Which, naturally, I couldn't do without crying more.

My morning's performance won me a recommendation for Fish Oil supplements, Vitamin D supplements, and a trip to the counselor to make sure my depression isn't relapsing. Oh, and I feel like a complete asshole due to my inappropriate behavior. I was also advised to perhaps take the day off from work and take a nap instead--which I did. I hate using the sick time at this point because I'd much rather use it during my maternity leave, but I think I really needed the sleep.

In spite of everything, the Tadpole keeps on doing her thing. I might be losing weight, but my belly is growing and is apparently measuring "right on." She's busy and likes to kick and wiggle for me, and be perfectly calm and serene for her Daddy. Let's hope this continues after she comes out. Daddy can deal with her at 2:00 AM.

Right now, I'm at 30 weeks. Her due date is January 17, 2009. However, we know that babies show up when they darn well feel like it. So I propose a little contest:

Dear God, it looks like knitting.


Baby Surprise Jacket in "Sweet Lime" Yarn Pirate Sock Yarn

This is the first object I have completed for the Tadpole. OK--she's got a couple of pairs of socks, but those don't really count as at least one of them was knit before I knew I was pregnant. It's also my first venture with the oh-so-popular Baby Surprise Jacket by Elizabeth Zimmerman.



This was a huge leap of faith for me. The knitting itself is not difficult, but EZ did not write in step-by-step instructions. Following a very conversational pattern was not standard operating procedure for my very type-A brain. But I made it--and the next time I knit this pattern (because it was fun and easy and makes an excessively cute little jacket), it should be easier since I know that the amorphous bit of garter stitch really does fold into a garment.

I love the buttons.



I wish I could tell you they were handmade or came from a cute shop, but that would be a lie. I found them at Joann's and I just thought they were perfect.

The sweater is knit in sock yarn on US size 4 needles. I think it will fit a newborn. I'm hoping to use it as Tadpole's coming home sweater. I don't anticipate her being small enough to wear the sweater for very long, but I think it will be very sweet for the time she does get to wear it. It may be a little spring-y for a January baby, but I don't care. I'm happy with it.

I've started another little sweater for her--a kimono sweater--that's sized Newborn to 6 months. The other garments I have planned will be in the 3-6 month size as I don't expect her to stay tiny for long. Eventually, I'll knit even bigger clothes, but I'm reluctant to knit things that will likely fit her this summer as it can get really hot and uncomfortable up here and I'm not sure where the Tadpole will be. The Beloved and I are mostly sure that I will go back to work, but we have begun to seriously consider whether it's worth it for me to go back full-time. Child care is very expensive, and the places where she's wait-listed have told me that March and April are difficult times to place kids. So...we'll see. I think it will depend on what happens with the economy and with fuel prices. If it looks like my entire paycheck is going to be spent on day care and gas to get to work, it doesn't make a lot of sense for me to go back. The prospect is moderately terrifying, but all we can do is wait and see.

The Tadpole appears to be doing just fine. She's a very busy baby--the doctor had a hard time getting a heart rate at our last appointment because she kept squirming away. We go for another ultrasound at the end of the month to check her growth. I believe this is probably to make sure that the gestational diabetes diet and exercise plan is working as well as the weekly bloodwork suggests and that she's not getting too big too fast.

Other than that, life progresses here at Chez Saisquoi. I had a cold last week, which was not the most fun I've ever had. The Beloved has it now. He's decided that he only wants to live so that he can get even someday. But aside from that, life here is pretty good.