New Year's Wishes

holidays
I've been thinking now for several days about what I wanted say to close out 2007 and bring in 2008. And I've come back to a few things I wanted to share with you...which is kind of funny because they're things that you have shared with me.

The first I owe directly to a friend of mine from church--he sent this quote from spiritual activist and founder of The Peace Alliance Marianne Williamson. But the sentiment is something that I have gathered from the past several months of reading all of your stories over the past 10 months or so.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?"
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us: it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others.

Thank you all for sharing your light. Reading your stories has given me the encouragement and the permission to shine just a little brighter myself. And for that, I am ever so grateful.

The second comes from another Marianne: and that is "Happy Knitting to all, and continue making good times." It's taken me months of reading your blog, but the week before Christmas it finally hit me--that's what it's all about, isn't it? If we're not making good times, there's something seriously wrong with our planning. So, even if your plans didn't include that impromptu cup of coffee with that old friend, or the night out with the girls...a trip to a yarn store 90 minutes away to take part in the 1,000 knitters project or something else with the potential of making a damned fine memory...if your plans don't include those things, they sure should.

So, if you don't knit, insert your activity or hobby of choice in place, but whatever you choose I wish you all the happiest of New Years, and continue making good times.

On the sixth day of Christmas...

holidays
...I finally got around to posting! We had a nice holiday chez Saisquoi. Busy, but nice.

I did go to the 1,000 knitters shoot. I'm knitter 279. Franklin was wonderful--if you knit and have the opportunity to take part in this project, I highly recommend it. I'm very excited to see what it becomes--and I feel honored to have taken part. Purl Diva, by the way, is a freaking awesome yarn shop. I'm not sure how often I'll drive out to Brunswick just to go yarn shopping, but it may make a good pick-me-up on days when I'm just not sure how I can go on.

After the knitting and yarn shop fun (I'm holding fast to the yarn diet--but I did buy this book while I was there. I think I'll make one of everything.) I went to wrap gifts with my college roommate. We ate pizza and wrapped gifts and watched White Christmas and It's a Wonderful Life. And it was something I really needed to do. I think it may have been a Christmas gift to myself.

Christmas Eve was hideously busy, as always. But as the Christmas Eve service was moved up by an hour, I was at least home at a reasonable hour.

Christmas Eve means lots of church for me--I sing and I do a "Christmas Narrative" in place of the gospel reading. Basically, I wear my storyteller hat and tell the Christmas Story while the kids bring down the pieces to set the Nativity scene. It's lovely, except that the Nativity set the priest likes to use is a gorgeous Italian porcelain one. And every year I watch with fear and trepidation as some of my naughtier children bring the pieces down the aisle--I tell you, it was a Christmas Miracle we didn't lose any this year.

Christmas Eve also means a visit from my in-laws. All of them. Now, I love The Beloved's family. They are crazy--but in a good way. However, they have never quite grasped that I cannot relax until Christmas Eve church is put to bed. My narrative is done from memory, so prior to church I walk around the house reciting it. Usually, the in-laws come over around 4:00 or so and I have to be to church no later than 6:00 to start a carol-sing at 6:30 and mass at 7:00. This year I thought it would work out perfectly--they would come about the time I was leaving and we could all eat dinner together when I got home after church.

Instead, they came at 2:00 when i was still very much trying to get dressed and practice. Sigh. I felt like The Grinch.

Things were fine when I got home. Well, except that most of the food was gone and my sister-in-law was down for the count. But we woke her up to open presents.

I drive my husband nuts because he wants to open presents on Christmas Eve when his folks are around. I like to wait until Christmas morning. So I don't put any of his stuff out until Christmas morning. I'm only a little passive-aggressive. Really.

However, I did relinquish a little this year and open one of his gifts to me on Christmas Eve. It was a sexy nightgown.

The Beloved also came through with a yarn swift. Bless his little soul. I'll try for some pictures later this week--winter light in NH does not make for good photographs. It's time to do something about that....

Christmas Day also brought dinner with my family at my Aunt's house. Good times and lots of food to be had by all.

And Boxing Day saw me back at work. Ah, the joys of a relatively new job--zero vacation time. I'll be going in tomorrow as well, but have New Year's Day off.

And that's about it. We've eaten a lot. Probably too much. But it's been good. After the new year we'll be on bread and water and celery for a while, but I suppose it's all about balance.

I hope that all of are having wonderful holiday seasons filled with time well spent with your families and friends. Continue your celebrations as long as you can--well, at least through Twelfth Night!

It's Beginning to Look a Bit Like Christmas

holidays
Thank you for your kind thoughts and comments. I apologize for my little pity party--stress levels got a little out of hand chez Saisquoi.

Things are better. We got a tree. It's not a regular tree--apparently, it's really hard to find one for sale the week before Christmas. Who knew? The Rotary people were never around, so their charities did not get my money this year. We went to the Home Depot and we could have gotten a frozen, crusty tree for $50, but that just seemed a bit steep. Particularly since the trees were, you know, frozen, so we couldn't tell if they were full or spindly or anything else. So we went to BJs and spent $17.99 on this:

This is a Norfolk Island Pine. Or something. It's not ideal. The Beloved calls it our Truffula Tree. I guess it looks a bit Seussean. But it's a tree. With lights. And the Christmas Angel.

Isn't she pretty? It took me many years to find "the" angel. In fact, she only came into my life last year, and I like her so much that she stays out long after the tree has gone--she lives on the hutch when she isn't on the tree.

Anyhow. Since the tree is live, if I can keep it alive through the winter we could theoretically plant it in the spring. But I'm not very good with plants, so I'm not keeping my hopes up.

Other holiday things...tomorrow is the staff holiday party at work. I'm bringing a tomato tart. (Libby's recipe, you can find it here.) I know it isn't tomato season, but it's the best idea I could come up with. Right now the pastry is baking away and I'll put it together tomorrow morning before I leave.

Saturday Franklin is going to be doing his 1000 knitters thing up in Brunswick. Weather permitting, I think I'm going to go. I've got about a zillion things I should be doing, but, honestly, I'm feeling a bit selfish and so I plan to act on it. Neener neener neener. When I get home, I plan on meeting up with my college roommate for our annual gift wrapping and viewing of "It's a Wonderful Life" party. That counts as stuff I should be doing, right?

Easter fun

baby things
Well, we survived. Cheese tray, deviled eggs, 10 pounds of ham, 10 pounds of mashed potatoes, asparagus, corn, green bean casserole, salad, bread, and pie. Oh, and lots of wine. And, can I forget the nineteen people who somehow fit into my teeny-tiny house? It was great fun. My cousin's little son, B, was the family photographer. They are supposed to send me pictures later this week. Until then, you'll have to deal with my inferior snapshots taken in between hostess and cooking duties...

These delectable little babies were courtesy of my mother-in-law. They didn't last very long.

This handsome young man is my baby brother. He is not the sibling in residence--he's a college boy, but he comes home on the weekends to do his laundry and eat some non-institutional cooking. My family is big on this--every Sunday we have dinner as an extended family. Location rotates between my mother's house and my aunt's house and generally involves about 10 guests, but can get as large as 17. Easter was bigger because it included my in-laws. Woo-hoo!

My mother and my auntie. Excellent genes in my family. I'm hoping that mine kick in eventually :)

Amazingly, there were very few leftovers. We've got a fair amount of ham, but nearly everything else was consumed. So, this is what I did with about 10-12 oz. of leftovers tonight: Macaroni & Cheese with Ham. Yes, exciting, I know. But this recipe is a little different and a little more grown-up than the garden variety mac & cheese.

Here's what you need:
  • 8 oz macaroni (I used penne), cooked and drained
  • 10 oz. ham cut into strips oz ham cut into strips
  • 3 eggs
  • 2 c. half & half
  • salt & pepper
  • 3/4 c. grated cheese (I used a blend of mozzarella and cheddar, I think--and I probably used more than the recommended amount)
  • 4 grated parmesan (I used a blend of parmesan, romano and asiago)
Here's what I did:
  • Butter a casserole dish.
  • Layer pasta and ham and pasta and ham, etc. in the dish.
  • Whisk eggs, half & half and salt & pepper together. Pour over pasta and ham.
  • Top with grated cheese.
  • Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes or until liquid has become custard-like.
Yum.

Oh! And I did some knitting! Not much--it's hard to knit and eat at the same time, you know. But I finished the mystery object, which I unfortunately forgot to photograph. Damn. Anyhow--I knit this little bag. It was cute, but it definitely needs to be lined, which the instructions don't tell you. Should I make this bag again--which is distinctly possible because it really was cute--I'll definitely line it.

I also cast off the baby cardi. Tomorrow it gets washed and blocked and then hopefully I'll have it together enough to finish it on Wednesday after work. If not Wednesday, I've got Thursday "off" from choir rehearsal, and so it might get finished then. So far, it's very cute--I mean, as far as off-white cardigans for infants go. Particularly when they're in multiple pieces on the coffee table. No pictures tonight--perhaps some "action" shots of blocked pieces tomorrow....

Triduum

church
We are traveling through the Holy Triduum--the three days before Easter. This is, quite possibly, my favorite time of year--as regards my religious practices, in any event.

During the Triduum, we remember the events leading up to the celebration of the resurrection on Easter. It begins on Thursday evening, or Maundy Thursday, as we remember the Last Supper and the example Jesus set for his disciples by washing their feet. We remember, as our Jewish brothers and sisters remember, the gift of salvation through the Passover. We watch as the Blessed Sacrament processes to the altar of repose and we are invited to watch and pray though the night, as the disciples were asked to watch and pray two thousand years ago.

On Good Friday, we remember the Passion--the crucifixion. We venerate the cross. It is very solemn and even sad. But it is necessary--after all, without death there can be no resurrection.

And on Saturday night we gather for the Easter Vigil. We light the first fire of Easter, and from that small fire, we light the Paschal Candle. We tell the stories of our faith--from the Creation to the Flood to the Exodus to the Prophets. We tell all the stories that lead up to the Passion and the Easter story. And then we celebrate. We baptize new members, we say "Alleluia" for the first time since Lent began and we rejoice in the promise and hope of new life.

The Triduum is a journey. It's one long liturgy spanning three days. Together we remember the last days of Jesus and his resurrection. It can be arduous and profound. It is the culmination of the preparation of our hearts and minds and selves made during the season of Lent. As I tell my kids in Sunday School, "Easter is a great mystery, and we need to get ready to enter or even come close to a mystery as great as Easter." Lent helps me get ready. The Triduum helps me make sure I am ready.

This makes me sound much more devout than I really am. While I do attend church regularly, sing in the choir, and teach Sunday School, faith does not come easy. It's something I struggle with nearly every day. Overall, this doesn't present a huge problem to me; I was raised Lutheran and my father says that I must have been imbued with a need for inner conflict during my catechism classes. Yet, there are times of the year when it is nice--and probably even important--to truly believe. Easter is one of those times.

The rest of the year, I can hold my feelings of doubt, and work with them. But on Easter morning, it's hard to walk in amongst the daffodils and lilies and the sounds of "Alleluia" and "Rejoice" if you're thinking, "Yeah, but was this really the way it happened?" The Triduum allows me to get ready--to enter this story that is still being told and still being lived and truly believe on Easter morning that "the Lord is risen indeed," whatever that may mean.

I meant to have this posted on Maundy Thursday--the first day of the Triduum. But it wasn't ready--I wasn't ready. I worked on it a little more last night, but it still wasn't there. Today, as I prepare myself for the Great Vigil of Easter, I think I'm almost ready. And so now, this post--which seems to reflect a bit of my own journey this year--is almost ready, too.

I wish all of you a blessed Easter and joyous and peaceful Passover; as you celebrate, think on these words by Primo Levi:
Each of us has been a slave in Egypt,
Soaked straw and clay with sweat,
And crossed the sea dry-footed.
You too, stranger.
This year in fear and shame,
next year in virtue and in justice
Amen.

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